Stop Being So Hard on Yourself
Girl, you need to stop and give yourself a pat on the back.
I wish I could go back and tell my younger self that same thing. How about you?
As women, we can be so incredibly hard on ourselves. We speak to ourselves in ways we would never speak to anybody else, and we justify it by saying, “I'm just being honest.”
But why do we tear ourselves down instead of acknowledging everything we carry, everything we juggle, and everything we've overcome by the grace of God?
The truth is, life requires a lot from us. Business requires a lot. Faith requires surrender. And yet when it comes time to pause and say, “Thank you, Lord, for helping me show up today,” we skip right over it and focus on everything we judge as not enough.
We create mental lists of how we should have done better instead of saying, “Look at what God and I just did together.”
Why Solo Business Owners Struggle with Self-Praise
Now, this is important. Looking for others to validate us only keeps us stuck. No one else can hand you the confidence that comes from partnering with God. That's an inside job, friend.
Listen, I'm a work in progress here too. I used to think giving myself credit was so prideful, but acknowledging the work God has done through me just isn't pride. It's gratitude.
Flipping the script and actually giving yourself a pat on the back is actually an act of stewardship. You're recognizing the gifts He's placed in you and the courage it took to actually use them.
It's Not Always Easy to Celebrate Your Wins
Let's be real. Depending on how you were raised, self-praise might have been frowned upon. But why?
Why is it considered acceptable to receive praise from others for our accomplishments, but somehow wrong to give ourselves thanks and acknowledgement for what we actually did and accomplished?
I'm just gonna say it—it's a bunch of crap.
You can be humble. You can surrender. And you can give yourself a pat on the back when you actually deserve it, because it's not about saying, “Look at me.” It's about saying, “Thank you, God, for helping me do this.”
Be proud of yourself. Give yourself that pat on the back. Be the empowered business owner God created you to be.
When Fear Keeps You Stuck (A Real Client Story)
Here's an example. I was working with a client who had written so many beautiful blog posts about her clean living homestead—good content that could genuinely help people.
But she hadn't hit publish on a single one of those blog posts.
When we talked about it, the truth came out. Her own thoughts were keeping her a well-kept secret. Fear was calling all the shots in her business, and it was keeping her stuck.
So here's what I did. I challenged her to do one small thing before our next meeting—publish just one post. Give someone the possibility to benefit from what she had written.
And when she took that action? She needed to give herself a pat on the back to celebrate that she had the courage to do the hard thing.
We get to pick our hard in life, friend. Which one do you want it to be? And when you pick the hard thing, celebrate it.
The Stories We Tell Ourselves as Solo Business Owners
We tend to make up all these stories in our mind about what's going to happen, about how people will respond, about whether we're good enough.
The only thing these stories do is keep us stuck.
We will never really know until we take action. And once we do the hard thing—whether it's publishing that post, launching the offer, or just showing up on video for the first time—we need to give ourselves that well-deserved pat on the back for doing the hard things.
Quick Recap: Why You Deserve a Pat on the Back
Let's bring it back to the big picture:
As women and Christian business owners, we're often incredibly hard on ourselves—saying things we would never, ever dream of saying to anybody else. We judge our efforts instead of celebrating what we've actually done.
The stories we tell ourselves keep us stuck, but taking action will actually free us.
And here's the thing—God's not asking you to be perfect, friend. He's just asking you to be faithful.
A Reminder for Your Heart
I want to leave you with this thought: Love yourself.
This doesn't mean pride or arrogance. It means recognizing that you are fearfully and wonderfully made, that the calling on your life matters, that showing up—even imperfectly—is worth celebrating.
So the next time you accomplish something, big or small, give yourself a pat on the back. You are doing important work, friend.
I pray this reaches the person who needs to hear it today.
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