These words are hard for me to write and even harder for me to say. I’m not for everyone. Why is this simple phrase so difficult for me to accept? That’s the work that I’m doing for myself. Why is it so hard to accept that it is okay that I’m not for everyone? It’s my fear of rejection.
Hello. If we haven't met before, my name is Michele and I am a life and success coach utilizing my experience as a certified online business manager to help female entrepreneurs achieve their goals, their visions, their dreams, so they can live a good life and actually have time to enjoy it.
Exactly What I Need?
As I’m finishing up my coach training. I joined Stacey Boehman’s 2k for 2k program. The program is to help make money as a life coach. My thought, that’s exactly what I need. I’m currently an OBM, how do I make money as a life and success coach?
Stacey is a Master Certified Coach from The Life Coach School. In this program, Stacey uses the “The Model” in her coaching.
I dove right in, I went through and consumed all the information.
The Hard Stuff
Then circled back to go through it again and do the hard stuff. All the work that goes along with the teachings. It’s uncovering my baggage that I keep hidden in the back of my mind.
The very first model that I ran on myself came from journaling on why I look outside myself for ideas? Why are the ideas that I have not good enough? This journaling brought up one feeling – Rejection.
Looking at this thought of rejection is why this is so difficult for me to accept. I’m not for everyone.
Why do I need to look outside myself for ideas and inspiration instead of turning inward and using my life experiences?
My thoughts were saying, you need to be like someone else. If you are not being yourself it is okay if people reject you.
Figuring it out
I’ve been able to pinpoint my fear of rejection to two major life events.
- My Dad
- Getting Laid Off From My Job
My parents married young and were divorced by the time I hit second grade. It’s not an uncommon childhood story. Lots of kids live this exact same thing. But, why has my story led me to believe that I need to be accepted by everyone? Instead of embracing that I’m not for everyone.
When I think about my dad, my first thought is, ‘spending time with her is not as fun as spending time in the bar with my friends.’ I know the exact memory that has caused this thinking.
My brother and I were waiting for our dad to pick us up to spend the weekend with him. It wasn’t often that we went to spend time with him and I was super excited, only to be let down.
My brother and I waited with our little bags packed. We waited and waited but he never came.
Later that evening, in our one-bedroom house, I overheard my Mom talking to my Dad and he was too busy having fun at the bar to get us. He was too busy having fun.
I was like 7 at the time. That memory, and even writing it out, now brings tears to my eyes. My thoughts: I'm not fun enough to be around. Partying is more fun than spending time with me.
The second was getting laid off from my job.
Really, the whole conversation is a blur in my head now. My boss had set a meeting with me. Which I was very thankful for because I had a number of outstanding items that I needed to discuss with him.
My chipper hello was quickly chased away with his cold uncaring voice telling me that someone from HR was on the phone and he would transfer me to review my severance package. The sales department was going through a restructuring. My position has been eliminated and I was now being laid off effective immediately.
Rejected. Not good enough.
Flipping the script
It’s funny because my heart knows that it was God, actually protecting me. He was protecting me from a Dad that didn’t know how to really love and care for his kids. Now I know, he was hurting and was wrapped up in his own mind drama. Spending time with him would not have been healthy. The Lord was protecting me from a job that I didn’t love that made me toxic.
But in my mind, it felt like rejection. It felt like I’m not enough, someone or something else is better than me. But the truth is, I’m not for everyone. And that’s okay! I am me, I have a purpose, a mission, a destiny. I am daily evolving into who I was created to be.
Now, in the middle between who I was and who I will become, is right and good. We are who we need to be in every moment of our lives, this is the gift of God that we learn and we grow and get to experience all the stages of our lives in living color.
I’m not for everyone, but I’m here for those that I’m destined to cross paths. I am good enough and this knowledge brings meaning and purpose to my life.
This is me working through my baggage. I really hope it helps someone else work through their baggage too.
Little Side Note
All the events in our life’s journey make us who we are. Use these takeaways to live a better more fulfilling life. Say you can!
✁ Just a Snippet
Here is just a snippet of the important points, you know for the skimmer in you. 🤪
- I’m not for everyone. Why is this simple phrase so difficult for me to accept?
- My thought, that’s exactly what I need. I’m currently an OBM, how do I make money as a life and success coach?
- It’s uncovering my baggage that I keep hidden in the back of my mind.
- My thoughts were saying, you need to be like someone else. If you are not being yourself it is okay if people reject you.
- I’ve been able to pinpoint my fear of rejection to two major life events.
- It’s funny because my heart knows that it was God, actually protecting me.
- But in my mind, it felt like rejection.
Private Coaching
Why do I believe in the power of private coaching?
Because it is truly life-changing. When your coach asks you that mind-blowing question that suddenly allows you to see what you've been missing all along that was literally right in front of your face.
You just need someone with a different perspective to help you see it.
Are you ready to experience life from a different perspective?
