Mentally tired after a long day in meetings, I wandered to the kitchen, grabbing another Copycat Chilled Crumbl Sugar Cookie. After polishing it off, I uttered, “What’s wrong with me?” Ugh, those ugly words judging the decision. Let me ask, have you ever uttered to yourself what's wrong with me?

Maybe it is self-judgment? 

First off, nothing is wrong with me, and nothing is wrong with you. Instead, it’s our tunnel vision. Our self-judgment causes this belief. We get so focused on the end outcome or the goal that we've set for ourselves. 

But, here’s the thing, whether you're aiming at losing a little weight or struggling to start a business, or working to save money, whatever that goal or outcome is. If you have a little bit of emotional attachment to achieving, the self-judgment seems to kick in. 

Are you a gap thinker? 

You think that happiness and success are something you pursue and you'll have in the future. What's wrong with me? That's gap thinking. You're always thinking that nothing is good enough and that you're not accepting you for you. 

It is as if you think the clouds will part, the sun is gonna shine down on you. You’ll suddenly hear that angelical sound from the heavens come down at you. 

When you decide to focus on loving the process and the progress that puts you in the immediate effects of the gain. 

So the book goes on to explain it's human nature for us to be in the gap and the gain is the antidote. You see, the gain creates immediate happiness. Matter of fact, the gain connects you to yourself and your own progress. The gain transforms everything it gives you power over the direction of your life. Here’s how it works: the gain gets you out of the gap.

Again, if you've not read this book, get it on your reading list today. And Hey, if you've already read it, read it again, because it's that good.

The power of belief

What if, instead of dwelling on the long list that you've created in your mind of what's wrong with you? What if instead, you take away the power of that belief?

This is important, what if you commit to focusing on your progress, focus on the process, and focus on the person that you are working to become.

For instance, if you told yourself the story is I'm working towards (insert that personal goal) that you've set for yourself.

If you are looking for that person that has your back, I invite you to apply for my private coaching. The link is here down below.

Should you find yourself questioning “What’s wrong with me?” remember that you have the power to change your thinking. Nothing is wrong with you, it’s simply time for self-awareness. Notice when this thought comes up and change the story you’re telling yourself.

Fortunately, there’s a simple solution: pull out your journal to examine why you made the decision you made. Once you discover the decision driver, figure out how you will handle it in the future. Pre decides what you will do next time when faced with a similar situation.

I appreciate you. I hope you have a wonderful week and I'll see you back here next week.

Disappointment in yourselves, right? We've all been there. Some of us a little bit more than others. What if you choose to feel the disappointment and look for what it shows you. 

What are you talking about, Michele?

Now I get your confusion around “feeling” disappointment. Heck, pretty sure up until I deep-dived into thoughts and feelings that caused my actions that created results, I walked around ignoring what I was truly thinking and feeling. You’re preaching to the choir. It’s okay because this took me a little bit myself to get.

What the heck does that mean?

Yeah. Right? What does that mean? When I’m feeling disappointed in myself, this tends to come up when I'm dwelling on the past.

When I’m disappointed and stuck in the past, dwelling on something that I have zero ability to change, where does that show up in my body? Trust me; once you focus your attention like actually pay attention to your body, you’ll begin to notice the physical sensation of how disappointment feels in your body.

As you’re paying attention, the physical feeling comes up. Sit with it; let it be there. Take notice, say, Hey Disappointment, I see you.

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Feel the Disappointment

Here’s the thing I was constantly thinking about the next thing, never pausing to sit and acknowledge that I was disappointed. 

Here’s the interesting part, you'll physically feel it somewhere in your body. It’s the quiet, muted feel. You must be wondering what I mean; it’s the feeling of butterflies when you are nervous. Or that pit you feel in your stomach. That’s what I mean. 

Here’s why that's important when you do take notice, that will be how it shows up again. 

Then, you’ll be like oh hey, disappointment. Let’s go ahead and feel you. Let’s go ahead and honor that you’re feeling disappointed. You’ll feel it in your body, let the feeling run entirely through you, and then dissipate. 

I know what you’re thinking; yes, you'll know exactly what I mean when you pay attention to how it shows up and feels in your body. 

Now, let it go

As you visualize your disappointment, watch as you slowly let it go until the last tiny thread is released from your hands. Watch it float gently away from you. Can you see that? 

Are you seeing it float away from you in your mind? 

That's how I vision when I'm letting go of something, how that floats gently away as if it’s a piece of fabric in the wind. Feel the disappointment in your body and let it flow through you like a sheer piece of fabric, visualize and let that float beautifully away from you. 

As you're watching that fabric float gently away from you next, write out what you are choosing to feel instead of disappointment in yourself. 

Examine Your Disappointment

Where have you been disappointed with yourself? Step back into that time. I want you to feel what you are feeling.

I want you to hear what you heard, was somebody speaking with you? Were you talking out loud to yourself? Were you just talking to yourself in your brain? 

What were your thoughts and your feelings, and what did you hear? 

I'm only guessing your self-talk was not bright and cheery when you were disappointed in yourselves. It’s never is bright and cheerful self-talk. Let me guess; it was negative and mean. Words that you would never speak to your sister, friends, or daughter. 

When you’re disappointed in yourself, it may be because you have an exceptionally high standard for yourselves. I don't know about you, but I know I fall into that trap. Don’t get me wrong; high standards are a good thing. The problem is those exceptionally high standards are shooting for the moon. When you do not land on the moon, you choose to feel disappointment in yourself versus celebrating the small successes. 

It all boils down to this disappointment is only a thought that you have about yourself. Rather than holding onto that thought of disappointment. What if you let that emotion wash through you, let the disappointment be fleeting. Let it be a fleeting thought that goes away. As quickly as it comes, look at why you're thinking and feeling disappointed. Is it because you expect perfection, so aim for what you perceive as perfection and be happy with excellence. 

Above all, look at disappointment as a redirection for where you need to go. If you find you're stuck in disappointment, do a mind sweep of all of the thoughts and feelings you have that are causing you to feel disappointed in yourself. 

What is one small action you can take to put you on the right path to a better thought and a better feeling? Look at your disappointment from a neutral place.

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Remove the label

What is the label? Is it good, or is it bad? Good and bad, those are labels. Labels you put on things are either good or bad. 

It's just someone stating the news to you. Although this may be true, remove your own emotional biased; you were created with free will. You can use your free will to move you out of disappointment, or you can use it to keep you stuck in the thoughts of disappointment. Know that you get to choose what you think and your following action. 

Suppose you need that person in your corner to help you work through your disappointment and the things you have going on in your life and someone to be there to help you move forward to the next best action.I invite you to apply for my private coaching. Here is the link. 

I appreciate you. Thank you so much for your time, and I'll see you back here next week.

What’s your attitude towards yourself? What is your self-image? How do you approach life? Do you view things from a half-empty or half-full perspective? Do you believe that you can change your negative thinking and negative self-talk?

Would you like to become a person that views life from a positive thinking and positive self-talk perspective?

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What are the benefits of overcoming negative thinking?

Are you wondering if there are any benefits to overcoming negative thinking and negative self-talk? I’m so glad you ask. According to an article from Mayo Clinic, The positive thinking that usually comes with optimism is a key part of effective stress management. And effective stress management is associated with many health benefits. I agree when they say you can learn positive thinking skills if you tend to be pessimistic, don’t despair.

Link to the article.

Sweet, I think that’s good news is you can absolutely learn positive thinking skills. 

Along with positive thinking will come positive self-talk.

You change from the inside out, which begins with shifting your negative thinking and self-talk to kinder, positive thinking and self-talk.

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Shift the Old Patterns

Shifting the old patterns of negative self-talk and thinking begins with awareness. It is a decision to no longer speak to yourself negatively. What if you drop the old pattern of negative self-talk? Look for ways to flip the script in your head from the negative to the positive. Be patient. This is a practice. 

Here are a few examples of how to do this.

• I’m not able to change. Shift it, too I’m willing to give change a try.
• I don’t know how to do it. Shift it to That’s okay, I may not know right now, and I’m figuring it out. The answers are coming. The answers always come.
  • I know for sure that this one works, as I use it. It was given to me by my coach and I’m giving it to you to try out. 
• Pause and get clear about why you're speaking to yourself in a negative matter.
• Take notice of your self-talk.
• You’ll be more aware as you pay attention to your patterns. The things that trigger you into negative thinking and self-talk.
• Pay attention to your repeat or nagging questions. Turn your question into a sentence. That’s your thought error. It’s essential to notice your thoughts.
• Practice positive thinking. Begin to create a habit of positive thinking.

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Self Love

Have you heard of Mirror Work before? If not, please let me introduce you to the late Louise Hay and Mirror Work. Lousie says that mirror work is the most effective method she found for learning to love yourself and see the world as a safe and loving place. I encourage you to read this post on What is Mirror Work?