Overcoming Self-Doubt

Overcoming Self-Doubt

What has you talking to yourself in ugly ways? C’mon, friend, you know that ugly talk. What “shoulds” are you telling yourself? Is all this chatter in your mind true, or are they your thoughts?

Where is the chatter coming from? 

Begin to pay attention to the areas in your life where self-doubt comes up for you. What ugly thoughts are going on in your brain?

Additionally, are you able to pinpoint any patterns of your self-doubt? After all, overcoming self-doubt requires us to consciously become aware of the chatter going on in our minds.

Perfectionism

Do you find yourself stuck in perfectionism? Once you notice that you’re thinking, “if I just do, it will be perfect.” 

Here’s the big secret that’s not true, perfect is only a thought. Done will beat perfect in a race every day. In other words, done is better than perfect. 

Despite the desire for perfection, a key to overcoming self-doubt is letting go and accepting that your best is good enough and done is better than perfect. 

Overcoming Self-Doubt

Failure

I can almost hear you thinking I do not like getting things wrong or failing. Here’s the bottom line it is okay to fail.

Overcoming self-doubt will require a change in mindset regarding our perception of failure. Look at failure as redirection. Failure will be your feedback to get on the right track. Think of it more are rerouting you for a change in direction.

Self-Compassion

Practice self-compassion when your thoughts take you into a spiral of self-doubt. Most important, don’t be discouraged with yourself.

When your mind begins the spiral into comparing yourself to others or your overly harsh critic begins to chime in. Seeing that thinking is how you overcome your self-doubt with self-compassion.

Ugly Self-Talk

Do you know what ugly self-talk you use? Simultaneously it seems to go hand and hand with your self-doubt? You say all those nasty things to yourself that you’d never say to anyone else. Be sure to take notice of your ugly self-talk. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Instead, write it down along with how you’ll overcome the self-doubt next time. Set a better intention for yourself. 

While it will get easier to notice your thoughts of self-doubt, it is not a one-and-done activity. Undeniably, you will have times when you’ll be disappointed. Your ugly, doubting self will be right there to make you feel crappy. Regardless, how you rebound from it is vital.

You will feel overwhelmed with life; that’s normal. We all feel that way.

Still remain focused on questioning your self-doubt. Rejoice and be proud of yourself when you notice your thoughts. This is feedback to you.

The best thing you can do is create a plan for handling these thought setbacks when they arise. They will come. When they do have a plan to manage your ugly thoughts regarding your self-doubt.

Ultimately, get an encouragement partner. The cheerful voice in your ear for when you do not have the strength to overcome your self-doubt.

In the end, self-doubt is worrying about what may or may not happen.

I’ll leave you with this verse from Matthew 6:27 NLT to ponder. Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?

Private Coaching

Why do I believe in the power of private coaching?

Because it is truly life-changing. When your coach asks you that mind-blowing question that suddenly allows you to see what you've been missing all along that was literally right in front of your face.

You just need someone with a different perspective to help you see it.

Are you ready to experience life from a different perspective?

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Stuck In Comparison

Stuck In Comparison

It’s funny; while we know comparison is the thief of joy, why do we still get stuck in comparison. After all, has comparing yourself to someone else moved you forward by leaps and bounds? 

How you see yourself

Often we do not step back to see ourselves as others see us. In truth, others can see our strengths easier than we can. 

One of my very favorite phrases is you can’t read the label from inside the bottle. 

Our minds are happy in the bottle; they feel safe and comfortable. 

Even if it keeps us stuck in comparison. 

While stuck in comparison 

Can you think of a time when you were comparing yourself to someone else, fueled by your ugly thought about yourself? Am I right?

Honestly, how does that feel? I’m guessing pretty crappy. Or maybe that’s just me that feels like my ugly thoughts drag me through the mud sometimes. 

How would it feel instead?

Instead of staying stuck in comparison looking at others, would it be better to decide to be content with what you have and what you’ve accomplished? 

We have no idea what obstacles they have overcome along the path for the most part. Because we are comparing ourselves to who they have already become. 

Not to mention, we do not know their journey; we can not compare ourselves to someone else’s with missing information. Likely, we are seeing only the good stuff. We do not know all the struggles they worked through to get to where they are now. 

Stuck In Comparison

Get Unstuck

You must be wondering how to get unstuck. The solution is simple start comparing yourself to your own self. 

How does that change your thinking when you see yourself as your greatest competitor?

I think you’ll agree with me when I say that it causes discontent with our own lives when we look outside ourselves.

And this is where people run into trouble; somehow, you think your life doesn’t look as good as someone else's.

After all, I genuinely believe that our path is full of lessons to learn in this lifetime.

”Comparison is the thief of joy.” – Theodore Roosevelt

Choice

What if you choose every day to be happy and celebrate yourself and your progress? How would that change your world for you?

Why not look at how far you’ve come on your path toward your goals verse stuck in comparison.  Choosing to be happy with your progress will, in turn, push you farther ahead on your journey.

Without a doubt, the goals you want to achieve were put on our hearts for a reason.

Instead of staying stuck in comparison, look at what you’re working to achieve. Praise your progress. Look for the joy in your progress.

Do you want to look back on your life with regret because you did not take the time to embrace happiness in the little moments? Or would you like to choose right now to stop comparing yourself to others? The choice is always in your court. 

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Private Coaching

Why do I believe in the power of private coaching?

Because it is truly life-changing. When your coach asks you that mind-blowing question that suddenly allows you to see what you've been missing all along that was literally right in front of your face.

You just need someone with a different perspective to help you see it.

Are you ready to experience life from a different perspective?

Calendar Causing Overhwhelm and Busy

Calendar Causing Overhwhelm and Busy

This post comes on the heels of the series on Be Less Busy. Why does your calendar cause you to be overwhelmed and busy? What if I asked you to consider that, it’s the thoughts you have about your calendar. Let’s take a step back and peel back your thoughts.

Calendar

When your calendar is causing you to be overwhelmed and busy, are you using it the right way for you? You must be wondering what I mean. 

Do you know if you’re a person that requires white space in your calendar, or do you think it is better when you schedule your day with color-coding?

The trick is to figure out when your calendar triggers your brain. Test it out and pay attention to how you’re feeling. I have clients that want to have every minute of the day planned, and I have others that need to see that they have space. 

Here’s the big secret it will be different for each of us. 

Plan for enough time

Nothing will get thoughts of overwhelm going faster than getting behind schedule. Or maybe that’s just me? 

Are you doing something new? Despite what you think,  things take longer than you think to get done. Until you have a good measure of the amount of time it will take to complete, make sure you double what you think it will take.

Scheduling too much

Do you overschedule? Scheduling too much on your calendar is a ticket to thoughts of busyness and overwhelm. 

For example, you are booking back-to-back meetings for hours without time in between. Another example is double booking your time on your calendar. Because that never ends well, stop people-pleasing. Be respectful of others and their time. 

Calendar Causing Overwhelm and Busy?

Plan for Fires

Undoubtedly not planning for fires; you know they will happen. Create space in your calendar to allow your actions to shift. 

Planning for fires is something that I do with my clients, here is how it works. On your calendar, you have blocks of time set aside for fires. 

Stay with me here; the fires will not magically happen at these time blocks. When you have fire blocks, you’re able to shift items around on your calendar where they would have gotten skipped over in the past. 

Here is an example for further clarification. At 9 am, you’ve blocked time to work on a proposal for a client. Suddenly, at 9:15 am, you have an urgent employee issue that requires your immediate attention. 

Shift the proposal to your fire block that you have in your calendar. I recommend my clients have two one-hour fire blocks in the morning and the afternoon. 

Little Side Note

Here is an older article, and it is still great information!

​Other suggestions when your Calendar Causing Overwhelm & Busy

Use the Pomodoro Method; work for 25 minutes on and 5 minutes off. It will increase your time management and efficiency. Here is an article to read about it.

Your calendar may be causing overwhelm and busyness because you’ve not planned for self-care. What I tell my clients is self-care is not all able bubble baths. It is about exercise, eating healthy, mindfulness. It is the activities that renew you.

Creating a dream day is an activity I have my clients do when they are working towards a big goal or vision. What is your dream day or week? If you have a Google calendar you can set up a calendar for your dream week that you can turn on and off. It will let you compare your current schedule to your dream schedule.

I know you’re ready right now to get out of the thoughts of overwhelm. I can help you. The link to apply for private coaching is below.

Private Coaching

Why do I believe in the power of private coaching?

Because it is truly life-changing. When your coach asks you that mind-blowing question that suddenly allows you to see what you've been missing all along that was literally right in front of your face.

You just need someone with a different perspective to help you see it.

Are you ready to experience life from a different perspective?

Find Balance Digital Download